Shedding light on domestic abuse: What the ONS data means for families going through divorce

The latest figures released by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) are as stark as they are overdue: an estimated 1 in 4 adults in England and Wales have experienced some form of domestic abuse since the age of 16. That’s 12.6 million people, with 30% of women and 22% of men reporting abuse. This rise in prevalence is not because domestic abuse is on the rise, but because we are finally asking the right questions.

Thanks to improved methodology that reflects the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, the Crime Survey for England and Wales now captures a broader and more accurate picture of abuse, including coercive control, economic abuse, health-related abuse, and forced marriage. This is a significant step forward in helping victims feel seen and supported.

Domestic abuse in family law: What I see every day

As a family lawyer, these statistics do not shock me. They reflect what I and my team see every day.

Domestic abuse does not discriminate. It affects people from all walks of life – successful business owners, professionals, stay-at-home mums and dads, carers, and those in high-profile careers. There is no ‘typical’ victim.

Abuse manifests in many forms, often subtle and insidious. I have supported clients who’ve experienced gaslighting, where they’ve been made to question their own judgment or believe they’re somehow to blame. Others have been humiliated, belittled in front of friends or family as a means of control. Intimidation is also common, and it doesn’t have to be physical. For example, I’ve seen situations where a partner withholds financial support or refuses to pay bills unless the other person complies with their demands.

One of the most common misconceptions I encounter is that abuse must leave bruises to be valid. In reality, the emotional, financial, and psychological scars are often the most damaging – and the hardest to prove. The improved data collection by the ONS helps shift that narrative.

“There’s no set pattern to domestic abuse, but there are often recognisable behaviours that an experienced family lawyer can identify early on. What matters is listening to the client, trusting their instincts, and ensuring they feel believed and protected.”

How we support clients where abuse is present

Divorcing a partner where domestic abuse is present can be incredibly daunting. The legal process can feel overwhelming, especially when someone is already experiencing fear, trauma, or confusion. That’s why we take a trauma-informed, client-centred approach.

Here’s how we help:

• Protective measures: We can support clients to seek non-molestation orders or occupation orders to ensure their safety and that of their children.
• Clear legal guidance: We explain every step of the divorce process with clarity, ensuring clients are empowered to make decisions at their own pace.
• Careful communication: Where possible, we minimise direct contact between the parties, using solicitor-to-solicitor communication or court protocols that reduce the potential for further coercion.
• Joined-up support: We signpost to counsellors, domestic abuse charities, and support services that can provide emotional and practical support beyond the legal case.
• Child-focused advocacy: We help protect children from being drawn into abusive dynamics, and where appropriate, we work with the court to put safeguarding arrangements in place.

A call for continued awareness and support

This latest data from the ONS should be a wake-up call to society: domestic abuse is far more widespread, and more complex, than many realise. It is not confined to any one demographic, gender, or socioeconomic group. It can happen to anyone.

But there is hope. With greater understanding, better data, and the right legal protections, survivors can move forward to safer, healthier futures.